If I could really LMAO, I could get into these jeans my mom has saved for me since high school.

The biggest thing I've learned at art school is the art of disappointing my father.

"DIDN'T THE KIDS JUST HAVE A DAY OFF SCHOOL LAST MONTH!?!" ~A parent's memoir.

10's homework question: "Which appliance in your home do you think is the most useful?" His answer: "My mom."