So son, you want to win the science fair, eh? We can solve this with good ol' American know-how *drone strikes other projects* We win

*donates body to science* Science: "I have a boyfriend"

Ok America now is our chance to catch up on productivity, health care, math & science while the rest of the world is drunk & watching soccer

Me: Whatcha doing on the PC? Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT?!? D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.