[dentist giving me a filling] Me: guh uh hag a hogreg? Dentist stops: what? Me: do you have a boyfriend?

The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is coming early. Like father, like son.

I lied to the doctor when asked my crush's blood type. Now she knows what rejection feels like.

I've lost interest in dating I decided to tell my therapist that archaeology just wasn't my thing anymore.