Stomach: I'm hungry. Brain: Chill out, dude, she's in a meeting. Stomach: I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE A WHALE'S MATING CALL.

Cave Excavation A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in their order of appearance: 1. a woman 2. a donkey 3. a shovel 4. a fish 5. a Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archeologists from all over the world came to stu…

A horse and a ram were sitting in a bar. ""Fancy another beer?"" said the horse. ""It's thirsty work pulling that cart all day."" ""I know what you mean,"" replied the ram. ""I've been stuck in a field all afternoon with no protection whatsoever from the sun. And the only water we get comes in a through that is filled with grass, muck and wool. I've been gasping for a cold beer since about three o'clock."" ""It's appalling the working conditions we have to endure."" said the horse. ""Tell me abo…

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.... First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a sp…