My dad, contemplating Brexit and the board game Risk, ""Well, Europe has always been hard to hold.""

Asia and his father are playing a board game. Asia's father takes his turn. He looks at Asia and says, ""Europe, Asia.""

An Australian joke Dave returned to Snake Gully after a brief trip to Europe. Dad said, 'Reckon you saw a lot of mighty fine things in that Europe.' 'Sure did, Dad. Cathedrals, palaces, mansions. But what impressed me most were the dunnies. They sure have got terrific dunnies. And they all flush.' 'Well, son,' said Dad, 'reckon you ought to build yourself one of those posh dunnies. But you'll have to get rid of the old shithouse first."" 'Nothing to it, Dad.' Dave took out a hand grenade that he…

A teacher asks her class to come up with a sentence... ...that contains the word "contagious." Amy stands up and says "Last week my mummy had the flu. It was contagious." "Very good," says the teacher. "Anyone else?" Then Becky stands up and says "a long time ago the Bubonic Plague affected a lot of Europe and because it was very contagious a lot of people died." "Very good," says the teacher. "One more?" Little Johnny then stands up and says "my next door neighbour recently started painting…