"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.

ME: im nervous GIRLFRIEND: dont be M: what are some of his interests GF: he likes football [later] GF'S DAD: nice to meet u M: *tackles him*

I farted alone in a room and then my girlfriend's dad came in. Now I have to pretend like something is dead in the walls and help him look.

dating tip: do NOT kiss their dad on the first date to establish dominance. wait until at least the second date. he will respect you more