"Look man, I swear to you, as god as my witness..." [God appears from behind dumpster] "I ain't coverin for u anymore Larry, you owe me $30"

Larry the Cable Guy show debuts on History Channel. Hitler says he's thrilled to share his network with his favorite comic.

Tom and Larry go to the movies Tom and Larry go see a movie that features a horse race. Tom turns to Larry and says, ""I'll bet you $20 that the white horse wins."" Larry responds, ""No way. I'll take that bet any day."" Unfortunately for Larry, the white horse won. After the movie, Tom says, ""you don't have to pay me. I'd already seen this movie, and now I feel bad about making the bet."" Larry, looking very confused, replies, ""well, so had I, but I didn't think he could do it again.""

Larry Page's note to himself when wife mentions she wants motorola, she means phone.