A man at a funeral Interrupts the priest and says, ""Excuse me, do you have the WiFi password?"" The priest stares at him and says, ""Good God man, have some decency. This is your mother's funeral!"" The man replies, ""Is that all lower case?""

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says ""I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."" 'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams. ""We can't stand the sight of each other any longer"" the father says. ""We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her."" Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the p…

A couple were sleeping in bed when suddenly the phone rang The husband picked it up. 'Hello? ... How the hell do I know!, I'm not the weatherman!' He slams the phone down, 'who was that' asks his wife 'Just my Dad, wanted to know if the coast was clear tonight'.

A night at the temple A man is traveling through the country and his car breaks down. He gets out and walks for miles and miles, and the first sign of civilization he sees is an old temple. He goes inside and asks the monks if he can use their phone. The head monk tells him ""We have no phone - and it is already getting dark. If you like, you may stay the night with us and tomorrow some of our brothers will walk you into town. Not having many other options, the man agrees and he is given a modes…