Professor i'd like an extension on my paper. why? well my ex just got married & i have to comment "lame" on all her wedding pics on facebook

My 5th grade teacher said my life would never be worth anything but my wife paid a homeless man $3 to kill me so suck it Mrs. Jacobsen

A man left a letter for his wife on the dining table The letter read: ""To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset...I shall be home before midnight."" When th…

A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions... A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, ""Wait, Professor! What if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?"" And the professor responds, ""That's no hydroxyl ion! That's my wife!""