PATIENT: Doc, I haven't been able to bone my wife lately and I really think- DR DOG: Wait. Tell me more about the bone part

doctor: "is there anything that runs in the family?" wife: "hm not really" me: "the dog jogs a lot"

Marriage Counseling: After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured. Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around th…

So this guy has a sore elbow. So this guy has a sore elbow and goes down to the clinic to get it checked out. The doctor says ""No problem, we just got a new machine and if you give it a blood sample it tells you exactly what's wrong with you and how to treat it."" The guy is skeptical but gives it a shot. The machine tells him ""you have tennis elbow, ice and rest your elbow for 2 weeks."" The guy is impressed but still not convinced. He decides he wants to trick this new machine. He goes home …