Just donated my body to science. I'm your problem now, science. And I could use some pizza and beer.

"Alcohol is just water with feelings in it," said the girl who failed chemistry.

A chicken walks into a bar He said ""I think I am in the wrong joke..."" Meanwhile, a scientist crosses the road.

An atom walks to a bar He tells the bartender he lost an electron. The bartender says, ""Are you positive?""