1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. 2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. 3. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included. 4. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. 5. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. 6. Stock up and save. Limit: one. 7. Semi-annual After-Christmas sale. 8. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. 9. Mixing…

It's out! Brand new edition of... ""You know you're A redneck when......"" 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly Swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5. You think the ""nutcracker"" is something you do off the high dive. 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want i…

No, I can't make it to your hair washing party tonight. I'm washing my h... erm i mean my dog ate my grandmother is dead.

My family crest is just a picture of my grandfather dressed up as a giant hotdog being dragged into a cave by a bear.