Venezuelan and American in Hell A Venezuelan and American arrive in Hell at the same time, Hell is short-staffed, and so they have orientation together. They are told part of their punishment is eating buckets of human excrement. Normally they would be segregated by nationality, but since they are together now they can each choose which part of Hell they want to end up in. ""What's the difference between American and Venezuelan Hell?"" asks the American. ""In American Hell you have to eat one bucket of excrement a day, in Venezuelan Hell you have to eat 5 buckets of excrement."" he is told. ""Well, I'm definitely picking American Hell."" he decides. ""What about you?"" the Venezuelan is asked. The Venezuelan thinks about it and says, ""I have been a Venezuelan all my life and I will spend eternity in Venezuelan Hell."" The American is surprised and tries to talk his new friend into joining him in American Hell, pointing out how much less excrement he'll have to eat, but the Venezuelan is undeterred. A few months later the Venezuelan sees the American in the distance and goes over to say hi. He asks him how things are in American Hell. ""It is Hell,"" says the American, ""but after I eat my bucket of excrement I have the rest of the day to myself. How about you?"" ""Well, you know Venezuela. Some days the excrement doesn't show up and when it does there's never enough for everybody.""