Mortgage For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, ""Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."" The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, ""Son, where are you going?"" Little Patrick told him, ""I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no bike!""