A depressed blonde decided that she wanted to commit suicide. She went to the park to find a tree to hang herself on. A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, ""I'm hanging myself."" ""You're supposed to put the noose are your neck, not your waist,"" said the onlooker. ""I tried that,"" replied the blonde, ""but I couldn't breathe...""