I ran an ice cream shop near the Thames in London... We had great business because we were stationed right outside Scotland Yard headquarters. In fact, we were so well-known that we were actually picked from all other shops in London to host Britain's first-annual Ice Cream Seller's contest. Over a thousand people turned up, and they actually had to cordon off part of the Thames with a buoyed police rope due to the traffic we were generating! The events ranged from Fastest Scoop to Best Waffle C…

Driving in Scotland (First post here, let me know if i need to fix anything please). An American decides to visit Scotland. While there, he decides to rent a nice car to explore the country. Not long on the road he is pulled over by a police officer. The officer approached the vehicle and asks the American, ""I don't the way you were drivin' back there. Have you been drinkin' today?"" ""No officer I haven't."" To which the officer replies, ""Well, I guess ya wouldn't mind proving yurself with a …

A Golf Story John decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Keith, so they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. 'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,'she explained and 'I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay …

A hitchhiker was travelling through Scotland. The young man was picked up at the side of the road, the driver noticed he was wearing a hat made out of fox pelt. “Where you heading mate?” “auchtermuchty” “Hop in. By the way what’s with the hat?” “Well when I told my uncle where I was going he said “where the focks ‘at?”