An american walks into a english pub ... ... before the dinner rush, sees that he is the only customer and goes to the publican. ""Excuse me sir! How much for a beer?"" he asks the publican ""For you good sir. 2 Pence."" He replies. ""2 PENCE! 2 PENCE! Wow that is really cheap. Okay how much for a toasted sandwich?"" ""5 pence sir"" he replies. ""5, 5 PENCE! okay how much is it for a nice juicy steak with no fat and a mountain of chips?"" the customer asks. ""Well for 15 pence you could have all that plus bottomless beer, that I will refill when your glass gets to be about a quart empty."" ""15 PENCE! Wow, that is a real good steel. Where is your boss? 'cause I want to ask him how he can keep his prices so low?"" the customer says as he pulls a bar stool close to him to sit on. ""Well sir, he is upstairs with my wife."" the publican says with a hint of sorrow in his voice. The customer is a bit quizzical. ""What is he doing upstairs with your wife?"" Then a large group of English football fans come in and start taking up seats at the bar and tables. The bartender starts to grin smugly. ""The same thing I am about to do to his business."" (note - publican is what you would call a bartender in a bar)