The sign down the highway said ""Don't be a turkey, don't text and drive"" They misspelled vegetable.

"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever

*wakes up to wife and son screaming* me: What are you guys yelling about? them: YOU'RE DRIVING

If a turkey got murdered, the chalk outline would look like a giant preschooler's hand.