Stomach: I'm hungry. Brain: Chill out, dude, she's in a meeting. Stomach: I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE A WHALE'S MATING CALL.

I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.

"I'm a vegetarian but I eat fish." - People who don't get how definitions work.

I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.