(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, ""I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"" The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to lo…

An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball ba…

A marine drill sergeant fancied a game of golf one afternoon and so set off to play on his favourite course. Waiting on the first tee, he noticed an air force commander, and since both were alone and in the armed forces, they decided to play together. They soon started talking about work. They shared boot camp stories, war memories and jokes about new recruits. They carried on like this until the fifth hole, when the marine sergeant concluded a story about a runaway tank by saying: "It's a fact …

Ok America now is our chance to catch up on productivity, health care, math & science while the rest of the world is drunk & watching soccer