On board the U.S. Navy carrier USS George Washington... the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidently left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, ""That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd."" The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, ""Be vewy, vewy quiet. We are hunting submawenes.""

On his way home from work, a man realizes he has forgotten a birthday gift for his daughter... He stops at Toys R Us and heads straight to the Barbies. Overwhelmed by all of his choices, he approaches a nearby sales associate. She then proceeds to show him their most popular Barbie dolls. ""Well, here we have Astronaut Barbie, Surfer Barbie, and Veterinarian Barbie... but our most popular doll by far is Divorced Barbie."" ""Divorced Barbie? What makes her so popular? That seems like an odd choic…

The Fairy and the Illegal Alien A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute illegal alien outside the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Offices. ""My good man,"" the fairy said, ""I've been told to grant you three wishes, since you've just arrived in the U.S. with your wife and seven children."" The man told the fairy, ""Well in Guatemala, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe with a lot of gold in them."" The fairy looked at the man's almost toothl…

Hang on to any of the new State of Alabama quarters. If you have them; they may be worth much more than 25 cents. The U.S. Treasury announced today that it is recalling all of the Alabama quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state. ""We are recalling all the new Alabama quarters that were recently issued,"" Treasury Undersecretary Jack Shackleford said Monday. ""This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters will not work in parking meters, …