Thank god my brother's getting his PhD, I was running out of ways to disappoint my parents.

phd thesis: the amoumt of property damage depicted in a action movie is directley proportional to its budget

"You have a BA? Ooooh! Look at you! Well, I have a BA, an MA, & a PhD." - 3rd degree burn

What's the difference between a PhD in math and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four