[1st day in Senate] Me: I'm against genetic engineering Scientist: We've developed kids w/ volume knobs Me: How much funding do you need

the fowled experiment scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. british engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. arrangements were made. but when the gun was fired, th…

I'm a Chemical Engineer and I have some good Chemistry jokes. ... but I never get a good reaction.

The Devil gives three men a chance to get into Heaven Three men die and get sent straight to the Gates of Hell where they meet the Devil who tells them that if they can answer his question correctly, they can go to Heaven. The Devil grabs a chair and stabs five holes into it, sits on the chair and farts. Devil: If you can tell me which hole my fart came out of, I will let you leave Hell and enter Heaven. Man 1: I'm a scientists, and since you were sitting normally on the chair, your fart would h…