[1st day as criminal sketch artist] Victim: He was blonde had blue eyes, he was about 6ft t.... Me: I'm gonna need a longer sheet of paper

It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye; unless you're Stevie Wonder, then it's just ironic.

I asked a blonde friend to check if my blinker was working, her reply was 'Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not.'

Try some Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Stevie Wonder! They have "the taste you can s- ... taste."