George W. Bush walks into a bar. The bartender asks ""what will it be?"" Bush gives the bartender a blank a look the bartender asks again ""what will it be?"" Where is the teleprompter? Don't kill me! This is my first joke :<

How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Significantly more than zero, *p* < .001.

If you type a <3 but you end up with < you should go to the doctor because your heart is pounding.

My friend texts me and said she wanted a puppy or a baby. Either is fine with her. I said babies look like potatoes, and that she should go with a puppy. She said my reasoning for claiming babies look like potatoes was intentionally obtuse. I said, ""no, _/ <--- that's intentionally obtuse. Sorry, I know it's bad. I just wanted to share.