Lame joke of the day. Why did the turkey get ejected from the soccer game? He had tripped a fan.

If a turkey got murdered, the chalk outline would look like a giant preschooler's hand.

(Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?

I always keep a baseball bat under my bed. You know, in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me.