A joke I heard on a stand up routine. My friend has a four year old daughter and incidentally she is the funniest person you'll ever meet. One day she came home from school and I was over at his house so I asked her ""hey, how was school today?"" And she responded ""okay. But Becky hit me in the balls with a football."" Now she has an older brother so she's only ever heard of this place as referred to the balls. So I look at my friend and he gives me a look. Layer on he says ""a good father woul…

ME: im nervous GIRLFRIEND: dont be M: what are some of his interests GF: he likes football [later] GF'S DAD: nice to meet u M: *tackles him*

I need your parent's phone number so I can call you & hang up when they answer. Cause if I'm gonna crush on you, I'm doing it old school.

One of my favorites A little boy and his mother are in a department store shopping one afternoon. The mother decides to try some clothes on and tells her son to wait outside the changing room for her. A few minutes later she walks out to find her son has his hand up the dress of a mannequin in the store. She quickly rushes over and slaps her sons hand exclaiming ""don't ever stick your hand up a girls dress!"" The boy seems confused and asks why. His mother explains that ""girls have teeth up th…