The Fastest Thing in the World Four men were arguing about what they thought was the fastest thing in the world. The first man says: I think it's a thought, because when you think of something, it's in your head instantly. The second man says: I think it's a blink, because when you wink at someone they barely even see it. The third man says: I think it's electricity, because when you flip a switch, power from miles away arrives instantly, and your light turns on. The fourth man says: No, no, no, it's diarrhea, because yesterday, before I could think, blink, or turn the light switch on, I shit my pants.