Let's call Trump the "Second Place President." He'll love that.

"We do not negotiate with Pterodactyls."- President Barack Obamasaurus

My child: Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Me: "That's impossible, they're all running for president right now."

"I'd make an awesome president. Give me a problem, any problem." "Um, population control?" "Kill all the storks. BOOM!"