*makes snow angel motions in bed every morning tryna find phone*

Why did Santa start the Christmas tradition? Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone: Santa: ""Have you been naughty? ....That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ..... I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?.... Yes, I'd love to see how you trimmed your (fir) ... I just want to unload my (sack) when I see an angel on top. "" Now, every year he has to keep doing the bullshit lie…

What has 2 wings and a halo? Did you say angel? WRONG! Its a chinese phone. *Wing Wing* ""Halo?""

""Are you religious? Because I could be the answer to your prayers."" ""Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?"" ""If I followed you home, would you keep me?"" ""I think I must be dying because I'm looking at Heaven."" ""Do u sleep on your stomach ...........can I?"" ""I know they say milk does a body good but damn, how much have u been drinking?"" ""If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together"" ""HEY!!!! Wanna go half on a baby?"" ""That dress looks great on …