Tommy Cooper joke via David Sylvian out of Japan [From Guardian interview with David Sylvian](http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2012/mar/08/david-sylvian-gentlemen-polaroids-viagra?intcmp=ILCMUSTXT9387): > I like the old Tommy Cooper joke, the one that goes: Guy walks into a pet shop and says, ""I'd like to buy a wasp."" And the shop owner says, ""I'm sorry sir, but we don't carry wasps."" ""Well that's funny, there's one in the window.""

I went to the gym the other day... ...I asked the instructor could he teach me to do the splits. How flexible are you? He asked. I can't do Tuesdays. -Tommy Cooper

A classic Tommy Cooper gag * I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' * He said: 'How flexible are you?' * I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'""

Tommy Cooper gag A classic Tommy Cooper gag ''I said to the Gym instructor ""Can you teach me to do the splits?'' He said, ''How flexible are you?'' I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays'', was fifth.