"Asparagus!!!" - italian guy named Gus pleading for his life

11: Dad, what's your spirit animal? Mine's a tiger. Me: Remember that chubby mouse named Gus in the baby-tee from Cinderella? 11: ...

Why did the scientist regret naming the organism ""Fungus""? Because after they hung out Gus was actually a pretty boring guy.

One of the funniest jokes I've ever seen... A man walks into a bar and screams at the top of his voice, ""I know the funniest joke ever! 10 and I will tell you it!"" A man at the far end, a regular holds up a 10 pound note and the man comes over and whispers the joke in his ear. The bar regular falls off his stool and laughs uncontrollably for around 30 minutes and as a result, is taken to the hospital. A second man is curious at how funny this joke could be so he holds up a 10 note and the man …