Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar. [copypasta from digitaldreamdoor] ""As good as this is,"" said the Scotsman, ""I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth. ""Well, Angus,"" said the Englishman, ""at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."" ""Ahhh, dat's nothin',"" said the Iri…

Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar . ""As good as this is,"" said the Scotsman, ""I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth. ""Well, Angus,"" said the Englishman, ""at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."" ""Ahhh, dat's nothin',"" said the Irishman, ""back home in my favorit…

Texan, Russian and New Yorker walk into a restaurant A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London. The waiter tells them, ""Excuse me -- if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease."" The Texan says, ""What's a shortage?"" The Russian says, ""What's a steak?"" The New Yorker says, ""What's 'excuse me'?""

An American soldier, serving in World War II had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, ""Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"" The En…