A guy walks into a bar, and tells the bartender he owns a talking dog... The bartender, of course, is skeptical, and says "There is no way you have a talking dog." The guy replies, "Oh yeah? I bet you ten thousand dollars I can bring my dog in and he will talk." The bartender was taken aback, and more skeptical than ever, but shrugged and thought it an easy way to make ten thousand dollars. "Okay," said the bartender, "but if you bring a dog in here and it doesn't talk, I get to throw you a…

A man goes into a bar with his dog and bets the barman $50 that the dog can answer his question. So the man says, “What do you call the top of a building?” The dog replies, “Roof.” The barman says, “I’m not paying for that.” So the man says, “Okay double or nothing” and asks the dog, “Who is the best baseball player of all time?” The dog replies, “Ruth.” “That’s enough” says the barman who picks them both up and throws them out of the bar. As they hit the ground, the dog turns to his owner and s…

Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar. [copypasta from digitaldreamdoor] ""As good as this is,"" said the Scotsman, ""I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth. ""Well, Angus,"" said the Englishman, ""at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."" ""Ahhh, dat's nothin',"" said the Iri…

I got chatting to a bird down the pub last night. She said, ""So what do you work as?"" ""It's a very important job,"" I said. ""I have to finalise deals in the transfer window."" ""Wow, a football agent?"" she asked. ""No,"" I replied. ""I work in the drive thru at McDonald's.""