My 2 year old has a pretty big attitude considering that I'm the only one who can open the fridge.

My boss accused me of sticking my finger in his BD cake in the break room fridge, but he is completely wrong, it wasn't my finger.

dont put all your eggs in one basket, put them in the little egg tray in the fridge thats what its for you idiot

Him: I'm heading to the gym Me: I'm heading to the fridge