The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax

Thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 15 min before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a squirrel.

On behalf of black people, I'd like to apologize for Nicki Minaj

One time I swallowed an entire box of Alphabits whole and the only thing I pooped out was the lyrics to a Nicki Minaj song