Wife left a note on the fridge it says "It's not working, gone to my mom's" I opened it and opened a beer, it's cold, the fridge works fine?

Late Night A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, ""Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night."" The first guy replies, ""I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning."" The guy agrees to try th…

Drunken Epicness A man comes home one night after being at the local bar. He is absolutely smashed as he collapses on his bed next to his wife and falls asleep. The next morning he wakes up to breakfast in bed. Toast, Egg and Bacon, Juice and Coffee. He is very confused, so he asks his son as he passes his bedroom, who made him this breakfast. ""Mom did"", he says. ""Why?"", asks the man, ""This is the first time in years she has made me breakfast in bed."" ""When you got home and fell asleep"",…

She LOVES her husband Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party... As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees h…