Just after Jane Fonda was born.. ..the doctor approached her father Henry with bad news. 'I'm afraid your new baby daughter has an underdeveloped heart, we're going to have to inject her with pus and create an abscess.' Henry is shocked. 'I've never heard of the like, what quackery do you call this?!?' 'Well, an abscess makes the heart grow, Fonda!' (Sorry if you are seeing this again, I posted this last night so was almost expecting it to be visible on Reddit somewhere today).

A man brought his son to a grocery store... A man brought his son to a grocery store, but as soon as they walked in the store the young child began to throw a temper tantrum. While they went down each aisle the child would yell, throw items in and out of the cart, and overall just be an annoyance. Despite the scene his son was causing, the father was cool and collected, slowly and calmly saying, "Don't worry, Donald. It'll be alright, Donald, we'll be home soon." A nearby mother was very im…

A man brought his son to a grocery store... A man brought his son to a grocery store, but as soon as they walked in the store the young child began to throw a temper tantrum. While they went down each aisle the child would yell, throw items in and out of the cart, and overall just be an annoyance. Despite the scene his son was causing, the father was cool and collected, slowly and calmly saying, "Don't worry, Donald. It'll be alright, Donald, we'll be home soon." A nearby mother was very impres…

My favorite thing about being a parent is lying to my kid Me: The doctor cuts off our tails when we're born 8 y/o daughter: Wife: ZACK!