Two men are in the operating room Two men are in the operating room getting prepared for surgery. One says to the other, "Hey buddy, what are you in for?" The other says, " I'm here to get my tonsils taken out" The first man says "Oh that's not so bad. I had that done when I was younger, and I got to eat ice cream for two days strait." The second man felt at ease with this reassurance. "Thanks for that, doesn't sound so bad. What about you, what are you in for?" The first man…

3 men die and go to heaven. (different joke) They arrive at the gates of heaven. St. Peter says, ""To determine whether you get to enter heaven or hell, you must state how you died. The first man steps forward and says,""Well, I was on my balcony of my 32nd story apartment. I was leaning on the railing, and it snapped off. I fell down, and lucky grabbed hold of the railing of the apartment below me. Then, some crazy guy came out of the apartment and pushed me off, and I fell to the concrete belo…

Plane over the Jungle There is a plane flying over a vast jungle. The plane is about to crash, so the passengers are instructed to lose some weight on the plane. There are three men in question that day, who each threw over something important to themselves. ""I have too many of these,"" said the first man, as he threw over some suitcases full of clothes. ""I have too many of these,"" said the second man, as he threw over some crates full of fruit. ""I have too many of these,"" said the third ma…

There were four men sitting on a couch, each wanting to watch the TV. The first man was keen to watch the grand national (horse racing). The second man was keen to watch wrestling. The third man was keen to watch a televised nature documentary. And the fourth man wanted to watch christian hymns. As they began to argue about what program to watch, the remote control got stuck down the side of the couch and the TV began flicking through the channels itself. The TV could soon be heard saying: ...""…