A cop pulls over a guy who just ran a stop sign. Cop: You ran that stop sign back there. Driver: Oh, come on now officer, it's called a California stop! I slowed down and no one was coming so I just rolled through. Cop: Step out of the car please, sir. Driver: What? Why? This is outrageous! I slowed down, and no one was even coming! Cop: Please, sir, I'm going to need you to step out of the vehicle. Driver: (disgruntled) FINE THEN! HAVE IT YOUR WAY! (steps out) Cop: (Mercilessly begins to beat t…

"Fifty Bucks is Fifty Bucks" reminded me of this one. A man and his wife were driving from New York to California. Along the way the wife would find every little thing wrong with her husband's driving. "You're driving too fast." "You missed that exit." "You're tailgating." This went on throughout the trip. As their car crossed the border into Colorado, a cop flashed his lights and the man pulled over. The cop walks up to the driver's side and the man rolls down his window. "Hey, Bud…

"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever

Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?