An old couple was driving through Kentucky As they were driving down one stretch of highway, they got pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper approached the car and asked the driver to roll down his window. ""Hi sir, do you know why I pulled you over today?"" ""Actually no sir, I don't."" ""You were going 75 in a 55. You were speeding."" Then the wife yelled from the passenger seat: ""What did he say?!"" The old man rolled his eyes and yelled back. ""He said I was speeding!"" He looked back …

(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, ""I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"" The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to lo…

Monkey Business On A Bus This guy has a monkey and he wants to go down to Florida for spring break, so him and his monkey get on this Greyhound bus and head down. On the way there's a terrible crash. The bus drives off the road and everyone on board dies. It's a horrible bloodbath with body parts scattered everywhere. Everyone is dead at the scene except the monkey. The police are trying to figure out what went wrong. They have no witnesses. It was a single-vehicle accident. So they bri…

"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever