If I worked at Starbucks I'd pull a Napoleon Dynamite every time. "I see you're drinking 2%, is that because you think you're fat?"

Why did Napoleon return from exile? He needed more Elba room.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, an American and a Mexican are in a hot air balloon. They're running out of fuel, and losing height, having already thrown all of their ballast overboard. A range of mountains is coming up in the distance, and they need to lose weight the clear them. As they come up to the first mountain peaks, the Englishman declares ""This is what Churchill would have done"" and jumps out, and the balloon clears the range. Another range is coming up, and they need to gain more height…

What did Napoleon say on the rollercoaster? Ouiiiiiiii!