Strangest joke ever (long) So the Magnificent Millard the Magician was performing in a large stadium, and he was wowing the audience. Master magicians who were spectating couldn't figure him out, and every face in the arena was lit with joy. Millard announces, ""I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but not only is this next trick going to be the last of the night, it will be my last ever. I'm retiring."" The audience was completely silent; too sad to cheer, too awe-struck to boo. So when Millard asked for a volunteer, every hand shot up into the air. Millard walked down to the crowd, and picked a man from the middle of the room. This man was about six and a half feet tall and built like the Hulk. He was brought on stage and asked his name. ""Tony,"" he said. ""Well Tony,"" Millard replied, ""It's time for YOU to help me with my last trick ever!"" The crowd was uproarious, that is until he handed Tony a sledgehammer, and said, ""Alright Tony, I want you to charge at me from across the stage, and hit me with the sledgehammer."" Tony was at a loss. But Millard got the audience to cheer and cheer for Tony until he worked up the courage to do so. Millard was crouched in a catcher's position, and Tony ran toward him and hit him with the Sledgehammer. Blood, mucus, and teeth flew across the stage, and Tony was terrified as Millard the Magician fell to the ground. A paramedic who was monitoring the show checked his vitals, and to everybody's great surprise, Millard was still alive. He was put in a hospital, and Tony spent day in and day out at his side. After four months, he lost his job, his girlfriend, and his apartment. But one day, Millard the magician twitched. Tony ran and screamed for a nurse, who immediately came running into the room. Surely enough, Millard was conscious. He said in a pitiful whisper, ""Tony, grab my hand."" Tony, tears in his eyes, immediately grabbed Millard's hand. Millard lifted their hands together, looked the nurse dead in the eye, and said, ""Ta-da.""