A man wants to be an Eskimo... He meets with the chief and asks him what it would take to become an Eskimo. The chief, wary of letting a white man into his clan, devises a series of impossible challenges. He says, ""If you truly want to become part of our Eskimo family, you must do three things: 1) You must drink one gallon of 151 rum, and if you can handle it and maintain all of your faculties, we will know your body and spirit are in harmony. 2) You must climb up the tall mountain and kill the polar bear that resides in the cave at the summit. 3) To show your true love for our race, you must make love to an Eskimo woman of my choosing."" The man thinks for a while, and agrees to complete the challenges. He first drinks the gallon of 151 and it was like nothing ever happened to him. He can talk, walk, and think logically. Next, he ascends the mountain and is not seen for a few hours after entering the cave. The chief breathes a sigh of relief, because he is sure the polar bear killed him, but gets the shock of his life when he sees the man descending the mountain. He is in tatters. His clothes are ripped, he is breathing heavily and sweating profusely, and his hair is pointing in every direction. He approaches the chief, ready for the third challenge and asks, ""Alright, now who is this woman you want me to kill?""