Me: My dog ran away two days ago Dog pound: Does he have a tag? Me [covers phone to ask wife]: Is the dog on Instagram?

Our dog runs away so much, I'm just going to spray paint our phone number on her side.

If more than one mouse is mice, then more than one Spouse is Spice.'

I need an aggressive dog-barking sound on my phone, for whenever anyone knocks on the bathroom door when I'm in there