I just sat through two hours of Jersey Shore. Apparently the stupid I was born with wasn't stupid enough.

I don't care what everyone says, I think my Jersey Shore hairstyle makes me look sophisticated.

JUST ONE MORE STD TILL I'M OFFICIALLY A JERSEY SHORE MEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The knowledge that Jersey Shore is known as "Macaroni Rascals" in Japan may just be the most important of my lifetime.