Reports are now emerging from Russia that Putin rode the meteorite while shirtless, steering it away from a box of kittens.

I don't know why Russia is so homophobic. Most of the women there look like men anyway.

Let's play the Rihanna drinking game! We'll drink a shot of vodka every time she says 'work'. [2 minutes later] *house is on fire*

Letting Russia host the Winter Olympics feels a little bit like letting Voldemort host the Quidditch Cup.