I flipped off a latino guy who cut me off in traffic and now I'm polling at 8% in the Republican primary.

Trump will be President until 2020 It would have been 20:15, but the sniper got stuck in traffic...

"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever

*wakes up to wife and son screaming* me: What are you guys yelling about? them: YOU'RE DRIVING