Did you hear about the football offensive coordinator who was republican? He was a conservative playcaller.

(Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?

I flipped off a latino guy who cut me off in traffic and now I'm polling at 8% in the Republican primary.

I always keep a baseball bat under my bed. You know, in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me.