""only 6 months to live!!!"" A sickly patient went her doctor's office where she underwent a complete physical exam. The doctor said, ""I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live."" The patient asked, ""Oh doctor, what should I do?"" The doctor replied, ""Marry an accountant."" ""Will that make me live longer?"" asked the patient. ""No,"" said the doctor, ""but it will SEEM longer.""

A father and his disappointing daughter So there's a girl, who just graduated from High School as an honors student but just a few A's away from making Valedictorian. After her graduation, her father walks up to her and says ""you've let me down."" The girl goes to medical school. Once again, she graduates near the top of her class but isn't the top of her class. The father walks up to her and says ""you've let me down."" The girl was nominated for a big promotion in her hospital but was just a …

My suit made entirely of Hello Kitty Bandaids did not help me much at my hospital interview. Apparently you have to go to medical school.

A teacher I had in high school told me this one. It may better when told out loud rather than read, but it's still funny. A guy wearing nothing but plastic wrap walks into a psychiatrist's office. The psychiatrist looks at the man and says, ""Well, I can clearly see your nuts""